Paperweight

This dark, honest book is the story of Stevie, a 17-year-old struggling with an eating disorder and convinced that the only way she can atone for past mistakes is by killing herself on the anniversary of her brother’s death. When her dad checks her into a treatment center, the anniversary is 27 days away, so Stevie knows she won’t make it through the full treatment. In fact, in the beginning, she refuses to believe that she needs help—in her mind, the only solution to the pain she’s shoved away inside is for her to die. Needless to say, Paperweight is not a light-hearted contemporary. It is not a book to be picked up lightly. And yet, it’s the most realistic portrayal of not only anorexia/bulimia, but of pure, self-hating, suicidal depression that I’ve ever encountered. By immersing the reader inside Stevie’s perspective, alternating the present day treatment center narrative with memories of what led her down this road in the first place, Meg Haston shows how eating disorders are about so much more than food, and adds a mystery element that builds suspense throughout. This is also one of those rare books where not a single sentence is wasted, where the gorgeous language itself is enough to keep you reading. A big reason this is 5 stars for me is the honesty with which Haston portrays the recovery process. It’s so easy to write a story about someone who goes from totally suicidal to totally “fixed” by the end of the story—but be warned, Paperweight is not that story. Rather, Haston writes the honest truth about recovery: it’s a long, brutal road, filled with temptations, because eating disorders (and depression) are not something that can be “cured” like the flu. While this might sound horribly depressing, it’s honestly refreshing to someone who’s struggled with depression for the better part of 10 years—because it’s true. You get better slowly, and sometimes you end up getting worse again and having to start all over, but it’s better than nothing because you’re alive. Books like this go a long way toward destigmatizing what it’s really like to live with a mental illness, not just “suffer” from one and then get better. full disclosure: This book could be very triggering if you’re struggling with depression, self-harm/suicidal thoughts, or an eating disorder. Mostly, I recommend this book to folks who’ve never struggled with depression or eating disorders. Read this with an open mind, allow yourself to feel what Stevie feels, and you’ll be a lot closer to understanding what these disorders really do to a person.

The book came undamaged and is super good!

Stevie has problems. Ranging from her mother abandoning her, blaming herself for her brothers death, and anorexia. Her father sends her to a treatment facility to get better, but she already has plans to off herself on the 1 yr anniversary of her brothers death. This book focuses on such heavy topics but the writing style is so easy. I was shocked to find how moved I was by the end. The last scene was wonderful and had me in tears. I was so attached to these characters, especially Stevie. This is a story of healing, forgiveness, and finding your worth. I never dealt with an eating disorder, but I found myself relating to Stevie as far as self esteem and worth goes. I highly reccomend this book. It only lacks one star because again, easy writing style. As great as this was, I wish it dug just a little bit deaper. As far as pain and suffering and starvation and binging and purging... i felt a lot of feels, but i wanted to feel more.

I cried my way through the second half of this book. I don't have an eating disorder, but I do have a chronic disease (MS) that first manifested soon after the death of a loved one, as is similarly the case with Stevie, the main character in this book. Other reviewers have commented that this book is liable to trigger an emotional response, and I agree. For me, that's not a bad thing. I actually found it cathartic to liberate all the pent-up emotions I didn't realize I still had within me after 10 years. This book reads like a diary, though it is fiction. It tells the story of Stevie, a 17-year-old bulimic who is sent to an eating disorder treatment center in a New Mexico desert. She is secretly planning to commit suicide on the 1-year anniversary of her brother's death. The characters and the dialogue are so true to life, probably because the author is herself an eating disorder survivor and a therapist, and yet the plot is not oppressive and heavy. It moves quickly; I finished it in 2 days.

My daughter loved it so much, my husband even started reading it! I’m next!!!

This was a gift and was well received

As someone with an eating disorder i feel like this was the most honest fiction portrayal i have read. The story really sucks you in, i found the characters very believable and honest. You can really tell that the book has been written by a previous sufferer. However i will state the obvious, in that it is triggering, so if you a re trying to avoid triggering material, i would avoid this book for now. other than that a great engrossing read, did not want it to end and felt sad when it did.

Pretty good book.

read it in one day omg so good. as someone who has been in an inpatient facility and is now recovered this book took me through so many emotions and i just couldn’t put it down. Would highly recommended to anyone with an ed!